Endgame
by Black-Neko-Chan
Summary: To fall in love with one's own death was easily the stupidest thing a human could do.  Especially when you had full knowledge that the other person cared nothing for you at all.
1. Me To Play

Hello! Fairly recently I got into the Kuroshitsuji fandom and absolutely loved it, so I just had to write something for it XD Wrote a little oneshot for it already, but this will be my first multi-chapter fic. Actually, it's more of a three-shot, if you could call it that... Normally when writing something like this, I just make it a fairly long oneshot, but I think with this particular idea it works better if it were divided into separate chapters. Soo, sorry if you like really long chapters, as these will be pretty short (At least by my books anyways). Without further ado, I present to you chapter one!

**Disclaimer: **Black-Neko-Chan does not own Kuroshitsuji, nor the adorable Ciel and the lovely Sebastian. She'd like to, but unfortunately does not. So no suing, m'kay? XD

* * *

It had all gone horribly wrong.

His entire life, from the moment he'd turned ten, had all just been one giant mistake.

It was a mistake when his mansion had caught fire and burned down. It was a mistake that his parents—his guardians, his protectors, his loved ones—had been killed. It was a mistake, that month of servitude following right after. Of humiliation, of pain, of blood and hot tears, of anger; all just a mistake. The tortures he'd been subjected to, the horrors he'd witnessed, the things that had been done to him, that he in turn had been forced to do back… All a mistake. A mistake, that month he'd spent caged like an animal, learning the dark, secret horrors of the world, listening to the voices of all the others and his own calling for help, for a savior, for a way out… A mistake, the terror and helplessness he'd felt, the pain, the agony, the humiliation, the way he'd felt so _dirty_ and so _unclean_ the entire time, the way the hatred for his captors had grown and grown inside of him day by day, grown like a poisonous, thorned weed; growing and growing and grasping and snatching and tearing and ripping, ripping, infecting, destroying all of him, little by little, gone his innocence, his purity, his trust, his heart, his love, taken by them and replaced by the only thing he could hold onto in that place—his hatred—which had grown like a weed. …Yes, all of it was a mistake.

But the biggest mistake was made after all that, after his pain and his humiliation and his hate. His biggest mistake came when he made a deal with a demon at the cost of his soul.

He had made the contract with the demon because he wanted—no _needed_—revenge for what had been done to him. Not for his parents, not for the other servants that had died in the fire. Revenge would not bring them back, just like it would not bring back his peculated childhood. His needed revenge for himself, because they had taken everything else away from him, and that was the only thing he could still cling to. He did not care if it were at the cost of his own soul. What did he need that tarnished thing for anymore anyways? It would only probably serve to drag him to hell faster, and he did not need yet another obstacle working against him and forcing him under. Easiest to just get rid of it if doing so would acquire him his sweet revenge.

And so he'd made the contract—his soul in exchange for revenge—and that was all it was ever meant to be. Just a contract. Just a business transaction between himself and the demon that now owned a part of him. Sebastian would be his knight, his sword and shield, his dog, his loyal servant, his butler. He would obey his every command and dole out whatever punishment he felt was necessary. And then in the end, when his revenge was complete and it was time for his own demise, Sebastian would claim his soul. That was it. The terms of their agreement were laid out for anyone to see if they knew where to look: his in his right eye, Sebastian's on his left hand. And it became the one constant thing in his life that he knew he could depend on and trust. The contract would not go away. The contract would not change. It would remain constant throughout his life. And that was good, for Ciel Phantomhive did not like change.

Change was what had made his life into the horrible thing it was now. He'd been a happy child once, loved by his parents and the servants of the mansion, but change had disrupted all of that and had cast him into the hellhole that had nearly killed him. Change usually meant bad news, and so he was distrustful of it. He couldn't control change. If events remained on course, steady and predictable, then he could look ahead and plan accordingly. But change disrupted his plans and put things outside of his control, and he did not like that. To not have control over the situation reminded him too strongly of his own helplessness and weakness during the month he'd spent in captivity at the mercy of all those around him who would use him and hurt him.

He strove to stay away from change and thus remain in control. And that was why the contract was worth it, even at the cost of his soul. With the contract he had gained great power, and with that, more control over the world around him. He would find those who had humiliated him and would take his revenge out on them, would make them feel the same pain and suffering that he had. He would no longer feel weak and afraid and helpless because now it would be _he_ with the power. And after that, he would die and his soul would belong to his demon. No chance of change. No chance of once more becoming that small, frail, helpless child of his past. Perfect.

But change was something that could not be planned for, and while the contract was a constant, something Ciel could count on, his relationship with his butler—his demon—was not. And so he had made a mistake.

It started because of the dreams. Horrible, disgusting, vile dreams that woke him up in the middle of the night and kept him up for an hour afterwards at least, while he waited for his mind and body to calm themselves enough to go back to sleep. He hated the dreams. They made him feel dirty and unclean and somehow_ less_. He knew that he was at the age when boys began to go through adolescence, and that all boys his age had dreams like these, but the thought did not comfort him. He was the Queen's Watchdog, Earl Ciel Phantomhive. He had gone through and experienced so much more than other children his age. He was wiser than them, more mature than them, so much _more_ than they all were. For him to have the same dreams, the same reactions and problems… it was a large blow to his pride. He knew it was mean to happen; yet somehow he had assumed it would not for him for of the sole reason that it was_ him_. To be proven wrong was disgracing.

And the _dreams_…! They were the worst part of it all, worst than the blow to his pride. For him, who had spent that torturous month as a slave, completely helpless and at the mercy of those who had hurt him, to be having these kinds of dreams… It was disgusting. Absolutely disgusting for him to be dreaming about those types of things. But his body and subconscious mind seemed to think the opposite. All night long he was tormented by dreams of the same actions that on any other night would have resulted in nightmares. However, instead of forcing him awake in cold sweat, as these images should have, they made his body painfully hot and sensitive and aroused, as it repulsed him to no end. He was particularly angry these days that he'd been kept up all night by the dreams and he lashed out at anyone who dared to approach him. He was beyond furious. Now even his own body was betraying him.

He knew what he had to do to rid himself of his problems and finally get a good night's rest, but he adamantly refused to do so. Having his body react in such a way was disgusting and loathsome, but even worse would be if he sunk so low as to touch himself to be rid of his troubles. For him to do something like that, it would bring him down to the same level as those who had used him in the past for their own sick pleasures. He would not do it. His pride would not allow him to.

So he commanded Sebastian to do it. And that was the big mistake.

He was tired and frustrated from being kept up all night and had issued the order before even having a chance to second think it. Like most night, the demon had felt his distress and entered the room mere seconds after he had woken up from his restless, dream-plagued sleep. From that point on he had began to tease the young boy about the state he was in, the sort of activity they normally engaged in. But Ciel, angry and tried as he was, had been in no mood for the teasing and so had issued the command. Before he even had a chance to take it back, Sebastian was already doing as ordered, and his mind was too far-gone to do anything about it.

Being the demon that he was, of course he had taken it too far. But then, Ciel really shouldn't have expected him not to manipulate the order and do as he saw fit. Before he even had a chance to understand the magnitude of what he had so foolishly ordered, Ciel found himself sitting naked on his bed; his nightgown having disappeared before he'd even noticed its absence, with Sebastian's mouth over his small erection.

He'd wanted it to stop. The moment Sebastian's mouth began to move and his head bobbed while his skill tongue went to work, Ciel had been plagued with memories of the same action being done in the past—only the positions were switched and Sebastian's image was replaced with that of a nameless man. He felt terrified and panicked and _unclean_ and he'd wanted it to stop immediately. But when he moved his hands to push Sebastian's head away they had instead entangled themselves in his raven locks and pushed his head downward while his hips bucked upward. And when he opened his mouth to scream at him to get away, all that came out were indecent and wanton mewls and moans of pleasure. Before he knew it, the pressure that had been steadily increasing in his lower stomach region had released and Sebastian was pulling away from him with sticky white threads dripping from his lips.

"_Get away from me! Leave!_" Ciel had shrieked instantly. And Sebastian had left just as quickly, spine bent and hand over the area of his heart, omniscient smirk in place, just like always. He left and the minute Ciel was sure he was gone the boy broke down worse than he had in years. He'd curled in on himself and lied there naked on his bed while he tried to stop himself from shaking so violently. He could feel the tears threatening to fell from his eyes but he'd refused to let them. He had cried enough to last a lifetime during that month, and he would not give them the satisfaction of shedding any more tears now. So he'd lied there shaking, feeling the saliva and heat from Sebastian's mouth slowly cool, and he locked away all the bad memories that had returned to him during that encounter. But even after regaining some semblance of his normal, cool, collected, and untroubled façade, he'd been unable to rid himself of the deep shame he felt.

He dreams didn't go away after that, no matter how much he hated them and how ashamed he was with himself. If anything, they became worse. For now he no longer dreamt about faceless persons touching him so inappropriately, but Sebastian. Again and again it was Sebastian there, smiling that damned, irritating smile at him as he ran his bare hands up and down his body, making him moan, making him writhe, making him scream. And he enjoyed it, even though he knew he should not. He woke from these new dreams more aroused than ever before, and desiring pleasure and release so badly that he was almost tempted to call Sebastian in to relieve himself, though he never did.

They weren't the only things that had changed. Along with Ciel's dreams, it seemed that his emotions and thoughts toward his demonic butler had altered as well. He became acutely aware of the other's presence beside him, and all the small actions and movements he made. Sebastian was his butler and as such should have been his loyal shadow, always behind him and never the center of attention. Yet now Ciel found that almost all of his undivided attention went to the man, leaving him more often than not confused and unaware of the going-ons around him. He began to notice every minute gesture Sebastian made, every small twitch in his perfect face, and wonder what they all meant. He stared at the man longer than was necessary and his cheeks broke out in an uncomfortable flush whenever Sebastian touched him for even the simplest of reasons. And he hated it, absolutely hated it, because all of this was slowly yet unavoidably bringing him to that one, inevitable conclusion: that he had foolishly begun to feel something for his butler.

And that was his mistake. How stupid was he, to fall for one's own death? It was surely the cruelest joke in the world. It would have, without a doubt, produced from Undertaker the greatest laugh he'd ever had. Yet it was no one's fault but his own. He really was a child after all, falling for whoever showered him with the greatest warmth and protection, even as he knew all those words of comfort were false. Sebastian was a demon, after all; he didn't care for or need the silly insecurities and emotions that humans harbored. All that mattered to him was how skillfully he could manipulate those things to flavor the soul of his prey. Ciel was no fool; he knew all this, yet he could not stop himself from falling deeper and deeper into desire for his demon one way or another.

He tried to push Sebastian away from him to distance the feelings he had for the man and eventually be rid of them, but that didn't work either. No matter how mature he was mentally and how many hardships he had gone through, in the end he was still just a child, and incapable of doing most things on his own. He needed someone to help him achieve his means, and that person was Sebastian. He found out soon enough that he could not handle his duties well enough on his own, and he was forced to turn back to his butler for help, thereby completely eliminating his plan to stay away from the man.

And his feelings for the demon only grew.

00000

The Phantomhimve manor was quiet. Such an occurrence only happened once in a very rare while, and today was one of those unusual occasions. Ever since the incident with Sebastian and his eventual discovery of the feelings he harbored for the man, Ciel's mood had worsened considerably. His rather inept servants had noticed this, and had apparently decided that perhaps if they could prove their usefulness by performing their jobs correctly for once, it would improve the young master's mood. Hence the silence. And lack of explosions, broken glass, and hysterical crying. Unfortunately, all their hard efforts were really doing was just making things easier for Sebastian.

For once, the young Phantomhive would rather have had the manor filled with the noises of careless accidents and mistakes. The complete silence made thinking way too easy, and he was looking for something to steal away his attention. He'd already tried to concentrate on the never-ending stack of paperwork set upon his desk, and that had worked for a while, but then Sebastian had come in with tea and blown all hopes of getting some work done out of the water. Perhaps it was just his recently over-active imagination, but to Ciel it had seemed that his servant had stood just a little too close while serving his tea, let his hands linger just a little too long while fixing the ruffle at his neck, just let the smallest hint of sincerity into his smile as he'd left the room. He'd tried to get back to work after Sebastian had gone, but after reading and re-reading the same paragraph several times and still having no idea what it was talking about, Ciel deemed that heroic endeavor to be useless. Now he was sitting blankly at his desk, trying not to allow his thoughts to get too involved.

It was difficult to do. He'd only been woken up a few hours earlier and been forced to deal with the now extremely embarrassing and awkward situation of being dressed, which never failed to remind him of all the excruciatingly detailed accounts of the dreams he'd had. Which he was now being reminded of again at the moment, having nothing else to occupy his mind with.

In his dreams he was a completely different person. Outside of them he was cold and his expressions and thoughts well guarded. He did not like the touch of others and even though he could now deal with people lying their hands on him without those careless touches dredging up bad memories from his past, that did not mean that he _wanted_ them. He dealt with it because it would not befit someone like him to complain, but all the same, he would rather they not occur at all. Yet in his dreams, reality was warped and things were the complete opposite. He welcomed all touch, especially that of Sebastian's. His dreams with the demons were filled with a more intense heat and desire than any of the others had been. He moaned and cried and _begged_ for that touch, and the intensity of his desire for it was even now beginning to leak into his waking moments.

He'd always been most comfortable with Sebastian's touch above all others. The man was his savior, and even if he was a demon and therefore evil, there was always the contract. With the contract, he could order Sebastian to stop whatever it was he was doing at any moment. And when one's servant performed intimate services such as bathing and dressing daily it was hard not to get used to those gentle and precise caresses. Yet now he was beginning to actually yearn for those touches, to want them to last longer when he did receive them. When Sebastian had touched him earlier today he had wanted it to continue on for so much longer than it had, even if he knew it was improper.

With a groan Ciel lowered his head into his hands. He was doing the very thing he had wanted to keep himself from doing—spending all his time thinking about Sebastian. The dreams were affecting his waking moment even more now, and it was quickly becoming harder and harder to forget about them. Or the man _in_ them.

"What's wrong with me?" He muttered sourly. He knew that dreams such as this were normal. Much as he'd rather not they be, they were and there was nothing he could do about that fact. But the things he was feeling as a result of those dreams surely could not be. He shouldn't feel _anything_ for a servant, much less a male one, much less a _demon_ who would devour his soul. But yet he did.

And he didn't want to be, because it made things so much harder to bear. The last time he'd ever so willingly given his heart completely to another, they had died and left him behind. And now, for him to feel such a way for his butler was just ludicrous. Sebastian was a demon and would one day devour his soul. Even if somehow the man could even _begin_ to understand the feelings Ciel harbored, in the end he would still be devoured. Nothing really mattered at all. That was why he hated this.

There was a knock at the door to his study and Ciel raised his head. A second later the man he'd been thinking about almost constantly entered. A look of what could easily pass for concern was plastered across his handsome face, but one only had to look closely to see that it was false. The only time Sebastian was ever truly concerned was when he was in danger, and only then because it meant that his _soul_ was also in danger. Putting on his own carefully constructed façade of cool indifference, Ciel turned to face his butler.

"I apologize deeply for intruding upon your work, My Lord, but I sensed your distress. I'd thought that perhaps you'd managed to get yourself kidnapped again." Now the concern freely fell and was replaced by a genuine smirk. Ciel scowled at its appearance. It always angered him when that look was directed at him. It was the only expression he'd ever seen Sebastian make that was genuine, and it angered him because the demon was mocking him with it. He was insulting him without words, belittling him, reminding him that despite their positions in the here and now, when the contract was fulfilled he would be the one in charge and Ciel Phantomhive would be reduced to a good meal. He was only a human and Sebastian was a demon. He would never be taken seriously, no matter what he did and how much he wanted to be, and that stupid smirk only reminded him of that fact again and again.

"Well as you can clearly see, I haven't been," Ciel spat. "Now get out of here and don't disturb me again. I have a lot of work to do."

"Oh?" Sebastian questioned, quirking a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "Then perhaps you should begin working on it. Sitting here and pouting surely isn't helping at all." Ciel growled. His fists balled up in anger. He wished he had something heavy to throw at the man. He knew of course that it would not hurt him, but it would make him feel better. He couldn't stand it when the other teased him like this, when his words got under his skin and into his mind. Because now he was feeling stupid again, stupid for somehow allowing himself to all so helplessly for this _demon_.

"What is bothering you, Young Master? If you get it off your chest then maybe you would be able to get some work done," Sebastian suggested.

"What a stupid idea. I am not the type of person to allow myself to be so bothered by foolish trivialities that I cannot function like a normal person," Ciel scoffed. He'd closed his eye for a quick second, and when he opened it again Sebastian was no longer in the doorway, but standing directly at his side behind the chair. He could feel the man's hot breath against his neck, and a shiver of arousal raced down his spine, his body already betraying his mind and quickly reacting to the other man's close proximity to him.

"Hmm, are these papers too _hard_ for the Young Master to figure out by himself then? Does he need some_ help_?" The butler purred into his ear, not at all helping the young man's body _not_ to react to the small amount of space between them, especially not with the words he had chosen to use. Instantly Ciel was reminded of the first time Sebastian had "helped" him with his "problem" and he nearly groaned. He had enjoyed that activity way too much, and his willingness and desire to accept Sebastian's proposition disgusted him. He was not supposed to do things such as that, want them, or even think about them. Not with his male butler, and _certainly_ not with a demon that would just as readily kill him was it not for the contract between them. It was _wrong_.

"Look here Young Master, all this one requires is your signature. Just a few long, slow strokes of the pen, and then it is finished." The demon was grinning; he could nearly _feel_ it. Suddenly one of those gloved hands wrapped around his own smaller one and picked up the pen lying abandoned on the desk. Ciel's face blushed furiously, and although he wanted to yank his hand away and chastise his servant for touching him so freely, the pen was already poised over the pristine, white paper, and doing so now would surely result in an unsightly blot of ink. All he could do was watch as their entwined hands danced across the paper, taking slow, languid, yet lavish strokes, and leaving behind the letters of his name.

Ciel was now painfully aroused, and his cheeks shone brightly, mostly as a result of his shame. Sebastian hadn't even _done_ anything other than to "innocently" touch him and make some suggestive comments, and yet he was already like this? It was disgraceful, horrific. He loathed it. He wanted to close his eyes and will it away as best as he could, but he was still _painfully_ aware of Sebastian next to him, of the words he had spoken and

(that perfect, always smirking mouth of his as it descended lower and lower until it found his erection and had fit it all into that same irresistibly perfect mouth)

flashes of their previous encounter feverishly dancing through his mind nonstop. And so it would _not_ go away and it hurt and he wanted to just tell the man to leave and to forget all about these damned emotions, but he wanted him here too and he wanted to touch and to be touched and—

"Young Master?" Sebastian's voice cut through his jumbled thoughts and he looked to see the man gazing at him with concern again. And he now noticed that his body was trembling and he had ruined the paper with his signature by pressing down too harshly with the pen after all, and he gasped. Not because of any of that, but because he thought that maybe, just maybe, some of that concern in Sebastian's russet eyes looked genuine.

"I apologize Young Master, I did not realize my teasing would have such a negative effect on you. I shall bring you some Peppermint tea to soothe your nerves," Sebastian said, and in an instant was again at the door of the study, looking all prim and proper, as if nothing was his fault.

"Sebastian!" Ciel called out, his voice raspy, before the butler could leave. The man stepped back into the room and closed the door behind him. Ciel looked at him and their eyes met. His cheeks burned with humiliation and embarrassment and his throat had gone completely dry, yet somehow he managed to speak his next two words.

"Touch me."

A moment passed. A hesitation. Then:

"Yes, My Lord."

He walked slowly from the door to the desk, agonizingly slow for someone who knew how fast Sebastian could move when he wanted to, giving Ciel just enough time to question himself if he really wanted to go through with this, yet not enough for him to act upon the answer he came up with. And then the chair had been pushed away from the desk and Sebastian was in front of him and he was trapped. Crimson eyes locked with his own and he knew that this was it. He had started this and now there would be no escaping from it. He nodded, although he knew that his consent would have hardly mattered at this point. Sebastian was truly in charge here.

He watched as Sebastian took his gloves off with his teeth, baring the contract and his skin for Ciel to see. Then those hands moved to the back of his head and untied his eye patch. It fluttered silently to the ground, and with it off Ciel closed both of his eyes tightly. He didn't want to see what he knew was going to happen.

Sebastian's hands moved slowly from the boy's hair to his cheeks, then his neck and stopped at the ruffle at his neck. It was undone quickly and cast away somewhere. Next those spidery fingers unbuttoned his shirt, slowly, slowly, taking much longer than it ever took in the mornings for Sebastian to dress and undress him. He slid the clothes down Ciel's shoulders but not completely off, leaving them bunched around his arms. Ciel shivered as his bared torso was exposed to the cooler air of the room. Even more so when he felt Sebastian's fingers begin to ghost over his skin.

He felt feather light touches grace his chest, softly and slowly. They trailed across his collarbone, down his chest, tracing the contours of his undeveloped muscles. Ciel sat deadly still in the chair, his pale body trembling, yet not moving an inch. He made sure to keep his eyes tightly shut, not wanting to see the scene unfold before him and taunt him for his weakness. He had given in. His pride had left him and he had actually asked Sebastian to do this to him. He didn't want to see it now, because it would only make things harder in the future.

Caught up in his thoughts, he was unable to suppress the soft moan that escaped his lips when Sebastian's hands trailed teasingly over one of his nipples. His hips bucked slightly as his nether regions throbbed, reminding of the lack of attention being brought to that particular area Ciel's fingers tightened into the fabric of the chair, his knuckles turning white. He had to keep some measure of control over this situation. If he didn't, then he would turn into the same wanton and begging creature he was in his dreams, and he did not want that. The Phantomhive head did not beg! He would keep a strict control over himself, not allowing any more unseemly noises to make their way past his lips, and he would not allow this encounter to mean anything to him in the future. He had ordered Sebastian to do it, after all.

Perhaps it was because he had thought again about the dreams, or perhaps it would have happened regardless, but when Ciel felt Sebastian's hands lower to his shorts, his body tensed up and froze. Just as before, memories of the masked men who had hurt him and taken him captive for a month entered his consciousness. He knew that he was no longer in that place anymore, and that these were Sebastian's hands on him and Sebastian who was touching him, but he couldn't banish away the memories. Hid body shook and he gripped the seat even harder. A small whimper passed his lips.

He felt a hand touch his face and it was one of the hands of the masked men so he flinched back. The touch was deceptively soft now, but in a second he expected the same hand to strike him and bring the stinging pain he was familiar with.

"Young Master."

Sebastian's strong, deep voice cut through his nightmare as easily as one of the butter knives the butler attacked with would cut through his enemies.

"Young Master, open your eyes. Remember that you are here."

"Se-Sebastian," Ciel called out weakly, his voice trembling. He slowly let go of the chair. His fingers hurt from having held onto the material for so long. He reached forward and searched the air, intent on finding his butler's face. He felt Sebastian's hands cover his own smaller ones and lead them to his face. They stayed with Ciel's own hands as he traced the man's features, his fingertips finding every perfection and internally mapping every detail. When Ciel was satisfied and his fear had ebbed away he opened his eyes hesitantly, blinked them twice to clear away any haziness. Sebastian's face was in front of him, their hands entwined together against the demon's cheeks.

"Keep your eyes open. Look at me," Sebastian commanded. He nodded.

Sebastian moved his hands and Ciel's own fell to his sides. Then the other's hands moved across his own cheek quickly, in a sort of gentle caress, and once more they dropped to his shorts. Ciel stared at Sebastian the entire time, reminding himself that Sebastian would not hurt him, and he could always order him to stop. He wanted this. He'd asked for it. He could handle it and not break down like last time. All he had to do was continue to look at Sebastian and remind himself that this was okay.

A button of his shorts were popped and then unzipped, and suddenly they were around his ankles and he was bared for Sebastian to see. Ciel flushed darkly and looked away, more self-conscious now than he had been the first time. Things had happened so quickly then, and his mind had been too focused on other things to even think about the indecent act he was engaging in with his butler in terms of embarrassment.

"Look at me Young Master," Sebastian said, and then Ciel's eyes were dragged back to the face of the man by two large hands on either side of his face. Sebastian was smirking, and he scoffed, determined to not look away again. He would keep his eyes on his butler the entire time. He'd wanted this and so he would accept it. He wouldn't hide. Sebastian's smirk widened as he saw the resolve in Ciel's eyes, and without any further hesitation he wrapped his hand around the young man's erection and began to pump it softly.

"Ahh-!" Ciel cried out, surprised by the sudden onslaught of pleasure he was experiencing. It wasn't as much as the first time Sebastian had helped him, but his body wept at the pleasure all the same. Too long it had been denied such pleasure and only had to deal with the pain of ignoring it. His small erection hardened even more than he thought was possible, as seemingly all the blood in his body rushed to that one area. And now those soft strokes of Sebastian's were no longer enough to satisfy him and he squirmed in the chair, small whimpers escaping from him. He was begging and he knew it, but at the moment he couldn't find it in himself to care. He needed more of this.

"Sebastian…" He whined, "Faster."

Sebastian complied immediately. His pace picked up considerably, and while one hand was paying attention to that, the other traveled up Ciel's body. He traced strange patterns into the boy's soft skin, making Ciel shudder with the warm, hazy pleasure those small movements caused him. Then his hand traveled upward once more, and took one of Ciel's pink nipples between his fingers and pinched it lightly. Ciel gasped sharply and his cheeks colored even more.

"Wh-what are you doing?" He demanded.

"You told me to touch you, My Lord. I am merely obeying your orders," Sebastian replied with another smirk. Ciel blushed deeper. He was still teasing him, even now, and it caused a bittersweet emotion within the young teen. He _liked_ the games that he and Sebastian played with one another, but it was just another way of showing that this was all just a game. He had feelings for the demon, but the other was just doing as he'd requested, wasn't he?

Sebastian's grip tightened considerably around Ciel's length and with a startled gasp brought his mind back to the situation at hand. From that moment on he no longer had any time to dwell on such unsettling thoughts, as Sebastian began to move too quickly for him to concentrate on much of anything. Small mewls and whimpers came from him as he was brought closer and closer to his orgasm, and very quickly. His body wanted release so badly that it seemed every nerve ending on his body was in overdrive, and every area of skin that Sebastian touched burned long after his roving fingers had moved on. He came with a quiet cry, and then slouched back into his chair as the aftermath of his orgasm hit him. He was tried now, and barely conscious of Sebastian moving to and fro while cleaning him up.

"Hmm, I think a small nap is in order for the Young Master. Perhaps afterwards he can get some paper work done as well," Sebastian stated, his tone slightly teasing. He helped Ciel from the chair of his desk and led him quickly to his bedroom. It wouldn't do for him to be seen in such an improper state of undress.

"Shut up," Ciel scowled tiredly, still managing a fairly decent glare despite this. Sebastian helped him into his nightgown, something even he could have done at this point as he was still missing most of his clothes, and then into his bed. The blinds were closed, effectively shutting out the pesky sunlight. Ciel snuggled down into his blankets, feeling sleep already begin to overtake him.

_I… did _that…_ with him again._

Ciel frowned as he thought this. He had enjoyed it much more this time than the last, but it would only make things much more difficult for him. He had let his weakness show and had told Sebastian to touch him. He could still see Sebastian's face in his mind, his cerise eyes looking directly at him the entire time. Yes, this would make things much more difficult indeed. He couldn't allow something like this to happen again, he couldn't. He had to forget about the man somehow, or this fascination of his would end him. No matter what he felt, his soul still belonged to Sebastian, and if he let his emotions fester any longer, his end would be even more difficult than it should have been.

He felt the bed sink beneath him, as a slight weight was added to it. He did not open his eyes, as he was very tired and figured that the only person who should have been in his room was Sebastian. He felt hot breath against his face, and then the brush of something across his forehead, the touch so light he wasn't sure if he hadn't just dreamt it. Then the weight was gone, and he heard the door to his room close quietly.

_What… was that?_ He thought, but before he could come up with an answer he had already fallen asleep.

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Aaaaand chapter one! Okay, some things to say. First, I'd like to bring everyone's attention to the title of this fic, Endgame. According to Wikipedia (XD) and my own knowledge on the subject, the endgame is a stage in chess where there are only a few pieces left on the board. Basically, when the winner and loser of the game are already fairly clear. The title of this chapter is "Me To Play," and in chess, that's another way of saying "My turn." Okay, I think that's all you need to know, so I shall see you next time! Please remember to leave a review, and thank you for reading!


	2. Dead Draw

All right, here we are with chapter two! Not much to say here, so on to the disclaimer then.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kuroshitsuji. Most likely, I never will.

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It was dark out, and the Phantomhive household was silent. The servants were fast asleep, and only three people still remained awake. One wandered silently through the halls of the large manor, while the other two were found in the master bedroom.

It had been six years. Six years since he'd told himself to stop, and yet he had been unable to do so. The temptation was too great for a human to resist, and he was damned anyways. So he went along with it, not even trying to stop it anymore. There was no point. He was not strong enough to deny himself what he so obviously wanted. If he was, then there would have been a lot less heartbreak between them, but he was weak. That was why this was going on.

It was his butler who was above him, his butler who had not changed at all in the past six years. He was still devilishly good-looking, able to easily attract the attention of any female onlooker whenever they went out. He still wore that same condescending smirk, still served him with the greatest strength and loyalty (at least, until the contract was no more), and still performed all his skills as the perfect butler. Yes, Sebastian was still exactly the same, but Ciel no longer was. He had changed a lot over the time span of six years. Now he attracted the attention of those same women who normally only noticed Sebastian. He'd grown taller and his looks more pronounced. His hair was slightly longer and his figure, while still slim, definitely now had the muscle tone he'd been lacking as a teenager. He'd become exceedingly good-looking, and had left many more than just a few broken hearts in his wake.

Yet he cared for none of those women, no matter how beautiful and wealthy they were. Even if he had been able to, he would not have picked a single one of the whole lot. Their pretty faced all blurred together in his mind, as did their dry and unoriginal personalities. None of them interested him. None of them sparked his fancy. They were all the same, and he could care less. He had the one he desired here with him, always nearby and forever in his reach should he need him. Anyone more was just a nuisance.

Sebastian rode Ciel hard, the sound of their panting and gasps and skin slapping skin the only noises in the otherwise quiet room. Ciel stared up at the face of the man above him as his hips thrust upward into the tight heat surrounding him and was possessed by the sudden urge of wanting to touch that face. Sebastian's eyes were a florescent claret color as he moved atop him, taking the younger man deeper into his body, and the air around him thrummed with power. He could feel their contract mark burning deeply beneath the eye patch as a result of the influx of power. Sebastian was, without a doubt, a demon. Even the dullest of people would be able to come to that conclusion, were they to see him now. Yet instead of running from such a being, as any sane, normal person would, Ciel welcomed him. He burned for the man above him. He wanted to touch him, but did not dare to do so. Such a useless gesture would only reveal the deep affection he held for the man, and he already knew how Sebastian would react to it. He would merely smirk that irritating smirk that made Ciel feel like a fool.

For how long had this been going on now? How often was it that Sebastian would enter his room as night and stay there for a few hours before leaving again? It was a horribly scandalous affair that would cause quite the stink if it ever reached the public's ears. The Earl Phantomhive having secret rendezvous with his butler nearly every night? If word ever got out, it would damage his name and reputation, regardless of how successful a businessman he was or how high his stading in the Queen's regard. It was a foolish risk and Ciel was well aware of this, but he never told Sebastian to stop coming. He trusted that the demon would not have allowed any to catch them together in an uncompromising position. And even if the others that resided in his household had their own thoughts and opinions on the mater, they were loyal to him and would not tell anyone of what transpired behind closed doors.

But more than the fact that he trusted those around him was that he did not care. A scandal would be very bad for his image, but it might not ruin him completely. As long as the Queen still trusted him to carry out her orders things were fine. He would still be in a position of power, therefore still guaranteeing that those who had killed his parents would one day come to kill him, and he would be able to exact his revenge upon them when they did. But if the Queen believed that he was doing such things and disapproved, his title could be stripped from him, making his revenge that much harder to achieve. He knew this, but he didn't care. He wanted revenge, desired it with a fiery need that burned at him constantly, but he also wanted this. He wanted Sebastian. And this was the only way he knew that he could have him.

Sebastian was bound to him by contract only, and nothing more. Over the years Ciel's unwanted feelings for the man had grown, but those hardly mattered in the long run. His emotions only existed to cause him anguish, and he had made damn sure that Sebastian would never know of them. He already knew of how stupid he was for falling for the man. He didn't need Sebastian to laugh at him as well. The demon was here for his soul and nothing else. He couldn't make Sebastian care for him in the same manner that he cared for the man, so he didn't even bother to try. The only thing it seemed he _could _have his fill of was the demon's body, and so he greedily took it.

Ciel snapped his hips upward, thrusting deep into the man above him. Sebastian made no noise, but he could tell by the reddening of his eyes that he had found the area he searched for. Smirking just slightly, he made it a point to abuse that spot over and over again. His sight stayed trained on Sebastian's face, looking for any slight movements or twitches.

Sebastian never made any noises other than grunts or heavy breathing. Ciel tried not to as well, not wanting to show just how much he enjoyed these nights and accidentally made obvious his hidden feelings. When he was younger he'd had more trouble staying silent because of his inexperience. Those nights had been full of his voice only, whimpering and moaning and screaming out Sebastian's name, accompanied only by the demon's grunts and soft moans and gasps. He never let any such wanton screams pass his lips, and Ciel had begun to learn how to read him by his facial expressions instead.

Sebastian's eyes were slit and glowing fiercely, his hands and fingers slightly elongated and his nails long, curved claws. His hands were fisted in the fabric bunched up around Ciel's narrow hips as he pushed himself up and down on Ciel's erection, taking the younger man into his body deeper and deeper with every thrust and plunge, and the claws on those hands were slowly yet efficiently tearing the sheet to shreds, though both men were to distracted to notice or even pay mind to that fact. Ciel could almost hear the hum of Sebastian's demonic energy in the air surrounding them, and could feel it burning via the contract. The mark on Sebastian's left hand glowed a vibrant, violent color, brighter and brighter the longer they continued their nightly activities.

It was like this every time. Sebastian would start out looking as he normally did in his human form, but as they moved together he would slowly lose that form. It was only small things, such as his fiercely glowing eyes, the claws, the power increase in their bond, but several times Ciel could have sworn he'd seen more. Sebastian had first appeared before him as a giant raven. He assumed then, that the man's demon form was likened to this animal. A handful of times Ciel would look at one of the walls across from him and see the shadowy outline of huge, feathered wings sprouting from Sebastian's back. He would blink and they'd be gone, leaving him to wonder if it was Sebastian's true form showing, or just his overactive imagination. Other times, when the older man atop him reached his climax, for a split second Ciel thought he saw Sebastian shrouded in undulating waves of inky blackness, two large wing-like shapes stretched completely behind him, the only visible color on him the fiery crimson of his eyes. When the man's orgasm came to an end the image faded just as quickly as it had come, along with all other demonic aspects of Sebastian's appearance.

This was how Ciel knew that these nights were not just for his own pleasure, but that Sebastian also derived some enjoyment from them. When Sebastian was being pleasured he lost the control he had over his human form and reverted back to a more demonic appearance. So Ciel made it a point to see that appearance. He loved seeing the way Sebastian looked while they had sex. The raw power and strength coming off the demon in waves as he lost his control, the arousal and heat and desire he could feel coursing through their bond… He loved being able to see and feel all of it. It gave him the impression that in some way, in some form, in some manner, he was just as important to the demon as he was to him.

Sebastian groaned suddenly above him, the noise soft, but not enough for Ciel to miss it. His inner walls tightened around Ciel's length and now he also voiced a low moan as he pushed himself deeper into his butler. He'd been meaning to go slow this time around and try to make Sebastian more vocal, but as the hot space around him constricted more and more, that plan immediately flew out of his head. He needed to move faster and to strike harder, to bury himself deep within Sebastian and release himself. This was how he marked the man as his own. Sebastian owned his soul, but for now Ciel would own his body. He would not allow Sebastian to use his charm to seduce information out of his enemies, despite its effectiveness. Only he would see this god-like body.

As the two of them established a rhythm to this faster pace, one of Ciel's hands left Sebastian's hip. The older man moved himself up and down above Ciel as the earl thrust with just as much power upwards. His hand trailed over Sebastian's broad chest and smooth skin, trying to find some sort of imperfection there. He found none as he traced the contours of the man's muscles, just as he never did. Yet time and time again he continued to do this very same activity. He marveled in how absolutely perfect Sebastian was, and he almost found it a necessity to discover some small flaw in his human façade. He loved to see the demonic aspects about Sebastian and it aroused him beyond all belief when his eyes lit aflame and those claws came out, but at the same time he wished to find an imperfection. Something to show him that perhaps Sebastian was not as perfect as he'd assumed, some small mistake to make the man more attainable, and allow Ciel some vain hope that one day his feelings would be reciprocated.

His hand trailed down over Sebastian's pectorals, teasingly brushing over a hard nipple and continuing downward. His palm slid lower down the flat plane of Sebastian's abdomen, causing the older man to shiver lightly, and then finally wrapped around the thick erection pressing against his own stomach. He gripped it tightly and gave a long stroke to the man's length. He was rewarded for his efforts with a soft, low groan, and an even fiercer reddening of Sebastian's slit eyes. Another shiver ran down the butler's spine and Ciel started to move his hand faster, easily falling into the same pace he had established with his thrusts.

Fiery pressure was coiling tighter and tighter in his lower stomach region and the pace of both his thrusts and pumps were faster now, loosing their rhythm as he strove to reach his end. Ciel pushed harder and harder into the insides of his butler, wanting to get as deep as he could when his orgasm hit. He could feel it approaching not. His gasps and moans became shorter, his movements sporadic and irregular. He was near, about to reach that pinnacle of pleasure when—

"Ciel… Ohhh Ciel…"

Movement stopped. It all came crashing down on him as the person above him moaned his name.

He stared. His entire body ceased to move. Sebastian… Sebastian never said his name. It was always "Young Master" or "My Lord" and never anything else. And it would never be. Sebastian was the perfect butler, and as such would never address his master by his given name. But more than that… you would never name your food. Sebastian would not call his name. Ciel knew this. He did now mean anything to the demon as all, other than being a tasty meal. He knew this. Even if he did wish Sebastian would look at him tenderly or touch him gently, or call him by his name, he knew that he wouldn't. Sebastian did not do things such as that. That's why, on nights such as this, when he imagined that it was Sebastian moving above him, the demon never said his name. But there it was. It had been uttered, and the fantasy was broken.

If Lizzy noticed his pause, she didn't say anything. He didn't think that she would. He was moving again now, though nowhere near close to the same intensity and speed he'd shown before. Ciel felt tired now, no longer experiencing the same pleasure he had before when he'd still been able to pretend he was fucking Sebastian. His arms drifted listlessly to his sides. He didn't want to continue doing this anymore, wanted instead to just roll over and go to sleep. But he continued for Lizzy's sake, sure that she deserved at least that much.

It was Lizzy he felt the most sorry for in all of this. He'd known what he was getting himself into when he'd made the contract, and later had known the heartache he would feel for falling in love with the devil. He'd known all of this, and some part of him had decided that he probably deserved all of it. But Lizzy had done nothing to deserve the pain she too had to deal with. All Lizzy had ever done was love him unconditionally and want to make him happy. It was not her fault that he could not love her the way she wanted.

She knew about it. Despite the childish personality and attitude Elizabeth had retained through the years, Ciel knew she was far from stupid. She knew that he looked at her with fondness and nothing more, and that no matter that she did that was the way things would stay. Yet when Sebastian was in the room, more often than not his eye would be on the butler, and the emotion in it then was very different. He did not think Lizzy knew just how deep his feelings ran, but she definitely suspected something was there. He could see it plain as day. Lizzy was easy to read. Though she was always smiling and laughing, he saw the despair in her bright green eyes.

It would almost be better, he thought, it she hated him for it. If it had angered Lizzy and she had done everything in her power to keep Sebastian away, if would be much better. On rare occasions he saw envy in her eyes as she watched the man, but that was the extent of it. She never did anything about the time Ciel spent with the butler, which was often more than he spent with her. Elizabeth liked Sebastian after all, and she wanted Ciel to be happy, even if it caused her to be hurt. So she never confronted Ciel about it, and even went so far as to visit her mother for several days a month as a way of allowing the two of them to be together for a period of time without her.

It would be better if she hated him for it, but Lizzy did not. She continued to tell him she loved him and continued to turn a blind eye to the two of them. Ciel knew that it hurt her to do so, but he could still not bring himself to stop this infatuation with the demon. He was helpless.

"Ciel…" Lizzy moaned, "Ciel, Ciel, Ciel." Calling his name out again and again as their bodies rocked. Each call of his name sent a sharp pain to his heart. He wondered if this was her way of seeking revenge.

In some ways, he was extremely lucky to have Lizzy for a wife. Another woman would have flown into a furious rage had she discovered her husband was having an affair with his butler. Lizzy took it all in stride, didn't even bat an eyelash. On the surface anyhow. Beneath that happy, smiling porcelain mask he could see her sorrow. Sometimes, at night he heard her crying in her bed, though he never brought it up in the mornings. If either of them spoke about it he assumed Lizzy would just break down. Yes, in some ways he was extremely lucky to have Lizzy. She would never bring the subject up because she wanted him to be happy, even if it was not with her. Yet in other ways this was unfortunate. Her silence allowed him to continue to cause them both heartache.

Lizzy rocked above him, repeating his name. Her delicate hands were pressed against his chest as she moved herself. Her emerald eyes were closed. A find layer of perspiration made her fragile body sheen in the moonlight. Her blond curls rolled down her back. So different than the man he'd been imagining before. Soft hands, not calloused and rough from doing housework. Slender, curvy hips and a small, curvy body, not flat and strong as the one before had been. Breasts were a broad chest would be. And the expression of bliss, the contented moans and whimpers and noises that came out nothing like the impassive, yet lust-filled expression and the silence that he was used to. He wanted Sebastian again, though he wanted a Sebastian more like Lizzy, one that would love him and reflect the same pleasure and desire he felt.

And didn't she know that? Didn't she know that he wished it were Sebastian here with him instead of her? He had never been so caught up in his sick fantasies to call out the man's name while in bed with Lizzy, but didn't she know all the same? The two of them having sex would not make him love her. Just as having sex with Sebastian would not make the demon love him. The act would only continue to hurt those foolish enough to allow their feelings to be caught up in it. But Ciel was already more than used to this pain. He'd been living with it since he'd turned ten and lost all his innocence. Lizzy had always been so pure-hearted and kind, surely she did not need this torture! He wanted to tell her to stop it, that he would never love her, to stop hurting herself and call him out on it and force him to stop, but he could not. The only sounds in the room were his name, over and over.

Lizzy gasped sharply and then screamed as her climax hit her. Her entire body shook and she clenched at his sides with her thighs. Ciel out a grunt, allowed himself to orgasm as well. His role of husband was satisfied now, and he could go to sleep, allowing himself to temporarily be freed from this predicament.

"I love you, Ciel," Lizzy said beside him as she wearily sunk under the covers.

"I know, Lizzy."

It was the same thing he always said, the only thing he could say. He would not lie and tell her he loved her. They both knew it wouldn't be the truth, and even if it made her happy for a moment, in the long run it would only hurt more.

He allowed Lizzy to curl up into his chest and wrapped an arm loosely around her. This was something he'd had trouble doing at first, but had gotten more and more accustomed to as time went on. It was not out of love or possessiveness, but of comfort, and the need to be close to someone who understood. They both knew that on some lever, the other hurt, and this contact allowed for them to soothe that hurt temporarily. It was something Lizzy needed more than he, but he figured he owed her that much. He owed her a lot. So they stayed like that for an hour or so until Lizzy retired to her own bed, or unless she fell asleep and he allowed her to stay. Tonight was not one of those nights.

When Lizzy left it seemed like the warmth in the room left too. Ciel lay on the side of the bed that was not dirty, huddled underneath a blanket, and thought that for tomorrow night he should ask Maylene to bring another one up. Downstairs, if he listened carefully, he could hear the quietest of noises that he knew belonged to Sebastian. The demon did not need sleep, and so he spent his nights doing chores around the manor and small tasks to ensure everything would run smoothly the following day. He knew this, just as he knew that in he morning after Sebastian woke him up, he would take the sheets off the bed and clean them, even though it was not his job. Ciel knew all of these small, insignificant facts about his butler. Why would he not?

He was in love with the man. And he knew even before his emotions had reached that point that it was utterly stupid to feel anything for the demon, but he'd been unable to stop himself. How many others, he wondered, had also fallen for this man-in-disguise as he had? How many previous masters had also known the exquisite pain of knowing you meant next to nothing to the one who meant so very much to you?

"Ha," Cel laughed, alone in the cold darkness. "Pathetic." And he was. To fall in love with a demon was only something a fool would do.

Yet he had. And nothing would change that now. He wished Elizabeth would yell at him, so he would at least have to stop allowing Sebastian to visit him at night, and make him pretend to play the part of the perfect husband. He wished that he could love her, and stop loving Sebastian. But he could do neither, and so he had stopped trying to do both. He was resigned to the fact that his fate would be a horrible one, filled only with despair. He just wished that he could spare Lizzy from the same.

He spent the rest of the night listening to the quiet sounds coming from the one in the rooms below him.

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Haha, so how that THAT? Seme!Ciel is a kink of mine, admittedly, and so I needed to write something with him in there. Because the kid obviously likes power and being in control and on top of things, so I think, were he not so young, he could very easily be the dominant part in a relationship. And hey, maybe Sebastian might not like that, but one quick order, and he's got not choice, right? XD But enough of my shameless attempts at convincing people to writing more smut where Ciel gets to top dear Sebby. How did you like the chapter? (That's actually the first time I've written anything close to heterosexual sex. Oh the lose.)

Moar information according to Wikipedia on chess terms and the name of this chapter! A dead draw is apparently a drawn position where neither player has any realistic chance at winning the game, whether due to insufficient material, or something else. It's a lifeless position. The pieces keep moving, but don't get anywhere, and won't get anywhere, unless one side would make a major mess up and cause the other to win. Must be very boring!

Well that's it then. Chapter two was a tad shorter than one, but chapter three should be longer than both of them, as it's the final one. So leave a review, tell me how I did, and it shouldn't take long for another update! Thanks!


	3. Desperado

Hiya peoples! All right, it is time for the last chapter, chapter three! Took a bit longer for me to get out than I had anticipated, but I'll talk about that later. Anyways, here's the definition for this chapter title. So, again, according to Wikipedia, a desperado is a chess piece that seems determinded to give itself up. This is typically done to bring about a stalemate with your opponent. And so now that that has been explained, onto the disclaimer!

**Disclaimer: **Remember the disclaimer for chapter one? Well, I still don't own Kuroshitsuji. So yeah, tough luck.

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All along the river he could see his memories playing.

It started with the first memories he could think of and went from there. Ciel watched as his entire short life played out before him. He thought he would feel happy to see those precious memories of the times he shared together with his parents, or fury at their deaths and his own capture, but instead he felt nothing. He merely watched the scenes because they were there, and because they allowed him to keep his mind off his own demise. Behind him, Sebastian slowly rowed the boat through the crushing fog.

If he were to be completely honest with himself, he did not feel as empty as he initially thought. Most of the usual emotions he felt were curiously absent. What he did feel was a dull sort of anxiety, resting in the pit of his stomach like an iron ball. He was not nervous that he would die. He'd known how and by whom his life would end the moment he'd made the contract. He'd had enough time to accept all that. What he was worried about was seeing Sebastian do it. He'd known that Sebastian would be the one to kill him. He didn't want anyone else to. But that didn't mean he wanted to _see_ the butler do it. It would enforce the fact that all along, he was meaningless to the demon.

But he'd known that too, from the beginning. That was why it was stupid of him to feel anything for the demon. He didn't want to see Sebastian kill him, but he would force himself to watch. He was still a Phantomhive, even in death, and as such he would not run from anyone. He'd known that it would happen and he accepted that. He wanted it to be painful. He wanted to feel all the pain he'd ever felt in his life. He would be baptized with that pain, all the sins he'd committed, all the people he'd killed, and all the heartache he'd caused Lizzy would be remembered with that pain. He would accept it all and not hide from it. He knew this, but was still anxious. The iron ball was still there in the pit of his stomach.

He watched the river and saw the years he'd spent since he'd met Sebastian. He watched himself grow up and Sebastian remain the same. Then he saw his wedding to Lizzy. It had been a big event with many guests, and he'd been frustrated and irritated by it all, thought he'd tried to not ruin it for Lizzy. The images he saw after were of the few years he'd spent together with her, and then finally his death. The time he'd spent with Lizzy by his side had not been all that bad, he realized. There had been times when he'd been almost happy with his cousin beside him. He hoped Lizzy would be able to be truly happy now that he was gone.

When the film of his life ended with his death, the boat also hit the shore of a small, dreamy, monochrome island. Sebastian gracefully stepped off the boat and onto the shore, and offered Ciel his hand. He took it, but instead of being led to the shore like he'd assumed he would be, Sebastian picked him up and carried him in his arms, close to his chest. It was then that Ciel realized he was once more in the body of a child. He had missed this fact when he'd been in the boat, his attention caught up by his thoughts and his memories being shown in the water. It was strange, once again being this young, but somehow it felt right, like he was supposed to be this way.

Sebastian carried him slowly and silently though a forest of tall and silent trees. He felt even more anxious now that he was closer to his end. He could almost hear the sound of the few minutes he had left alive trickling away. They continued on through the trees and eventually came to a stone outcropping, the remains of what looked to have once been a building of sorts. In the middle of it all was a plain stone bench, and it was upon this that Sebastian set him down.

Ciel's heart began to beat faster. He knew that he was technically already dead, and the body he had here was merely a container for his soul, but that did not stop it from reacting just as it normally would with how worried he was. He was getting closer and closer to a point where he would no longer exist. And while he'd desperately wanted his revenge, his instincts to live were now kicking in, and he found himself wishing for a few more years.

"A child, Sebastian?" He questioned suddenly. His voice sounded out of place, much too loud in this somber atmosphere. Luckily, none of the anxiety he felt had leaked into his voice. His words had rung out as cool and composed as usual. When Sebastian heard his question, a particular look crossed his face quickly, as if he were relieved by it, and did not mind what was obviously a stall for time. Sebastian graced him with one of those smiles he always wore, the bent down and kneeled in front of him.

"This was the form I most enjoyed you in, Young Master. I do not mean to suggest that I disliked serving you when you became older, but things were… easiest when you were this age," The demon explained. Ciel looked at him curiously. Though he was still smiling, he did not hear any of the usual arrogance or goading in Sebastian's voice. It was one of those times, it seemed, when he was completely serious. Ciel was glad for it. He'd always enjoyed the games they'd played, but for once he didn't feel up to them. He wanted to talk with the man in these last few moments of his life, and he was glad that he got the chance to.

"Yes, things were simpler then," Ciel agreed thoughtfully. The last time he'd been this age he'd had so many less things to worry about. As the Funtom company had continued to grow, he had to learn to bear more responsibilities as the owner. And the older he became, the less and less acceptable it was for him to continue to deny invitations to parties or social events. When he'd married Elizabeth that held true even more soon. Then there had of course been his duties as the Queen's Watchdog, which had also seemed to increase, and after all of that there was the marriage itself. Lizzy was always beside him, and even though most times he appreciated her presence, she could be an annoyance. Everything had been simpler as a child with the only person he had to continually deal with being Sebastian.

"Mmm, I did not have to share you with anyone then," Sebastian smirked evilly, speaking the same thoughts that had just been on Ciel's mind. The demon's voice when he spoke the words was low and sultry, his smile seductive. Ciel was more than used to seeing this side of his demon, yet he felt his face heat up all the same. He certainly hadn't expected for his to happen, though when Sebastian's gloved hand touched his thigh, he found he didn't mind all that much.

"If the Young Master would not mind, perhaps I could indulge in a bit of fun before we go any further?" Sebastian questioned mischievously. Ciel didn't get any time to answer that question. He knew that this was _hardly_ the time or place to engage in that sort of activity, but they both knew he would not deny Sebastian his fun. He never did. Once of the problems he wished he'd been able to work on. If he could just deny the man, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.

It was Sebastian's lips pressed against his own that evaporated all his vain thoughts of stopping this immoral act from occurring one last time. Sebastian hardly ever kissed him. He wasn't one for foreplay unless it involved touching, preferring instead to get straight down to the act. Ciel on the other hand, loved kissing Sebastian. He loved to taste the other man so fully and feel himself being embraced by those strong arms. It made it easier to pretend that when Sebastian kissed him, it was because he felt the same affections for Ciel that the boy felt for him, instead of knowing that in reality, it was just a simple way for the demon to get his master in the mood.

He felt those familiar hands press his body closer and Ciel lost himself. He wanted, he wanted, he wanted! He wanted to possess this man and feel the hard edges of his body one last time. He wanted to etch every detail of Sebastian into his mind and remember those red, red eyes gazing into him forever. He wanted to feel the heat of the other man's body and he wanted to be one with him, wanted to feel that _passion_, that _desire_, that _power_ between them once more. He wanted, suddenly, foolishly, to tell the demon that he loved him and order him (were it still possible) to return that sentiment. He held his unwise words back, knowing that were he to speak them now, after all this time, it would ruin him. When his mouth did open all that left it were mewling moans and half-hidden desires.

Sebastian's hands were all over him, ridding him of his clothes. There seemed to be a kind of urgency to his movements, as for once he left the outfit lying where it fell, not bothering to fold it neatly. The habitual need to keep things in order had always irritated Ciel before, as he'd seen no need for Sebastian to act like such a perfect butler right before they fucked, something which by society's standards was far from perfect. Yet now he almost missed the action that had become so familiar. His carelessly fallen clothes served to emphasize that he was at the end of the road, when even Sebastian no longer felt the need to keep up with his butler façade.

Sebastian's lips broke away from Ciel's abruptly, and the butler's spidery fingers ran up and down his sides, easily removing the last few articles of clothing still on the boy's body. Ciel's own fingers tried to do the same for Sebastian, but perhaps as a result of his once more being a child, he found the action difficult. His fingers fumbled across fabric and buttons, trying fruitlessly to disrobe his servant, but to no avail. Sebastian was forced to strip himself. Once all clothes were gone those clever fingers were again running across his skin, easily bringing him to a state of arousal.

Those same hands trailed down to his small erection, touched it lightly, making him shiver and a small moan to escape his lips. Sebastian eyed him deeply, and his fluorescent red orbs sent another shiver racing down his spine, for a completely different reason. Something seemed… different this time around, though he could not place his finger on how. He felt apprehensive. His revenge was completed and the contract no longer existed. Now he was in the hands of a demon that had no leash to restrain him from biting. Would Sebastian just eat him here and now, right like this? He was ready to die and had accepted that he would, but that did not make his natural survival instincts any easier to squelch.

He froze when Sebastian's teasing touch left his erection and trailed lower and almost casually brushed against his entrance. He shot away from the man like he had shocked him with the touch. Instantly he was reminded of the nightmares he hadn't had for a few years now, of masked men who touched and prodded and hurt. His heartbeat (how he had one in this body he was unsure) sped up rapidly, and though he tried to mask it, he felt afraid.

"Se-Sebastian!" He gasped sharply. "Not like that! If you want to do it the other way fine, but not like that!" Sebastian smirked. His lips stretched wide, exposing white teeth Ciel was sure had not been so pointy before. His eyes glowed deeply, and he purposefully pressed his fingers against the area that had caused Ciel to flinch before. It was only a touch, and the digits did not press hard enough to enter him, but Ciel froze up all the same. His heart beat rapidly.

"Why not? Do you not like it when I touch you here? I allow you to do this to me frequently, but I am not allowed to do it to you? That does not seem fair, Young Master." Sebastian's words rolled silkily, smoothly from his sinful tongue. Serpentine.

"Or are you afraid of my touch? The one who has bathed you, dressed you, held you at night and protected you? How amusing."

He wanted to scoff and bark out that he wasn't. But he was, he was, and he knew that Sebastian could see that. He feared those men and the things they had done to him, and with the way Sebastian was staring at him so intently, he felt an irrational sense of fear toward him as well. The contract was as good as over. Would orders still work? Could he command Sebastian to stop?

"Sebastian, don't!" He said, trying to channel the same air of authority he always spoke in. He thought it worked, and for a second Sebastian's eyes narrowed. Was the contract still in place then? Before he even really had a chance to ponder that question, Sebastian's lips were again pressed hard against his own, and the man's tongue was invading his mouth. His hands left his butt and traveled all over his body, harshly pulling on a nipple and then stroking his penis, leaving Ciel a flustered, needy mess.

"Do you not trust me, Young Master? Do you think I would do the same things that they did? Do you expect me to torture you?" Sebastian questioned after he broke away from the kiss, his face mere inches away from Ciel's. His body was pressed atop Ciel's smaller one, and with each question he asked, he ground his pelvis against Ciel's own, making the boy cry out. Ciel's mind was hazy, unsure of whether he enjoyed this treatment or didn't. He wanted to leave because Sebastian was reminding him too much of those men and he didn't like it. When his mind processed Sebastian's questions he tried to push the demon off him.

"You're going to kill me, aren't you?" He yelled out, suddenly mad. How dare Sebastian say such a thing? Wasn't he already torturing him with this? Hadn't he tortured him for years now after every time they had sex and Ciel was left to fall asleep alone, knowing it meant nothing? Sebastian's movements froze and his eyes seemed to darken, though for a long time he said nothing.

"Are you afraid of me? Do you think I will hurt you?" He asked then, after a few good moments of silence. Ciel lapsed into silence. His heart was beating quickly and he couldn't stand the way Sebastian was looking at him. There was something in the demon's gaze he couldn't recall ever having seen before, and he didn't know what to make of it. He turned his head and kept his sight firmly away from Sebastian's.

"No," He admitted quietly. His cheeks flushed and he felt mortified that he had actually answered such questions. Sebastian should have already known that he did not fear him. He had saved Ciel from his own personal hell and rescued his life so many times he had lost count. Even now when he was so close to death, he till trusted Sebastian more than anyone else.

He felt a warm touch against his face, moving his head back to look in front of him. Sebastian leaned in slowly, and gently connected their lips once more, more tender than Ciel had even thought was possible for him. Fingers card softly through his hair, and Ciel's own hand gripped tightly onto the butler's back. He moaned quietly, relishing this gentle kiss, and when his mouth opened, Sebastian's tongue joined his own and they tangled together.

He felt as if he were drowning. Everything was so different than he was used to. His late night trysts with Sebastian when he'd still been alive and part of the world had never been like this before. He'd been the controlling one then, the one in charge of everything. Every move was planned out and initiated by him, leaving Sebastian only there to cooperate. And he'd liked the way things were then, because he was in charge. Whatever he had wanted to do, they would do. No chance of change, nothing unplanned. If he did not like something, or felt afraid of it, they would not do it. That had all been simple and Ciel had enjoyed it because he'd known what to expect. He'd visualized every move before it had ever happened and had been able to hold up his defenses and hide his weaknesses. That was how Sebastian never found out about the way he felt.

Now he didn't know what was going on. Sebastian was completely in charge here, and though he should have been used to the demon dominating every part of his life, despite his own title of master, Ciel was afraid. He was afraid of the masked men and his nightmares and pain, and he was afraid of letting go. This was different than before, and he felt like he was drowning. He couldn't allow that to happen. He had to try and retain some control, because he knew that if he let it all go he would no longer be able to keep up his defenses, and Sebastian would know.

Part of him longed to just tell. His body was already dead for all intents and purposes, and soon this phantasmal form his soul was residing in would also be gone. What reason did he have to continue to hide the truth? Did it matter that Sebastian would laugh at him when he would soon nothing would matter at all? He doubted it, but yet his pride would still not allow him to speak. Would he be devastated when he heard Sebastian's reject him? He knew it would hurt. He didn't want to have to face the true extent of how stupid he had been by falling in love with a demon and causing himself and those around him so much unhappiness. It was better to pretend that he didn't know what Sebastian would say and act like he could continue hoping. He didn't want to hear how wrong he'd been. He couldn't allow Sebastian to know.

"Do you trust me?" Sebastian murmured huskily at his throat. _Yes_, Ciel wanted to say, _of course I do._ But he kept his mouth closed, turned his head to the side to allow Sebastian to mark his neck as much as he pleased. He was drowning, drowning, drowning. Sinking deeper and deeper. He felt like he couldn't breathe. How many times had Sebastian saved him from such a fate? Now he was the cause of it.

"Trust me," Sebastian said again, still against his neck. His lips felt hot, Ciel thought absently. His hands were burning and they trailed lower and lower down the boy's body.

"Trust me," He said again, pulling away from Ciel. The boy let out a small whimper at the loss of contact and the warm body that had been against his own. The noise caught in his throat though, as he looked up and saw how truly beautiful the demon above him was. His eyes were aflame and his long black hair fell down against Ciel's neck and forehead. His body was perfect and magnificent, much more than anyone else he had ever seen in his life. Could any human ever hope to compare to Sebastian's gorgeous, deadly beauty? Ciel had seen him like this many times and had always recognized how flawless his butler was, but this was different from all those times. Now Sebastian was the one in charge, and he could definitely tell that this was the role the demon was most used to playing. He was in control of every movement. His limbs moved gracefully, and his eyes glowed sensually. Ciel felt like he was watching a piece of art. His breath caught in his throat.

He was so taken in by the image of beauty that he almost did not notice the way Sebastian's fiery touch continued to travel lower down his body. He felt it soon enough, and when he did it was no longer Sebastian touching him but pairs of hands running up and down his body. They were touching him all over and making him dirty, and he had screamed before he could stop himself.

"Don't touch me! Get away!" He yelled. He tried to push Sebastian off, but the demon held him down and forced their eyes to connect.

"Ciel!"

His struggles stopped immediately, and he stared. He felt his heart skip a beat. Sebastian was above him still, but all of a sudden he thought that this must be a dream. His revenge, the trip to the island, none of it had actually happened, had it? Right now he must be lying in his bed, dreaming. That had to be the answer. For Sebastian never called him by his name.

The demon touched his cheek and ran his fingers down the soft skin. Ciel stared at him, unmoving. This was a dream, wasn't it? It was not possible for Sebastian to have said his name. He never would. Ciel did not matter to him, so why would he ever need to use his name? He didn't. So he must have been dreaming, had to be. So why then, was he able to feel that touch so clearly? Why could he see and imagine this island so clearly? His body shook, and he blinked his eyes.

"I'm afraid," He whispered suddenly. "I'm afraid it will hurt."

"Trust me Ciel," Sebastian said again. His red eyes bore into Ciel's own heterochromic ones. They were perfectly still, and everything around them was silent. His name seemed to echo in his ears, over and over. _Ciel, Ciel, Ciel…_ His body trembled, but slowly, he nodded.

His screams ripped through the silence as Sebastian pushed into him. His fingernails tore into Sebastian's back as he clung to the man and tried to keep himself from telling him to stop. It hurt, less than he'd thought it would, but it was still pain and he was still afraid. Tears poured from his eyes and down his cheeks. He held on tightly to the man as Sebastian began to move inside of him, and that hurt even more. He bit his lips so hard they bled, but he did not allow himself to cry out anymore. Sebastian had said his name. Sebastian had asked for him to trust him. Sebastian was not the same as the men who had hurt him before. He trusted Sebastian, he did. Sebastian would not hurt him. Sebastian had asked for his trust and he would give it. Because he loved the demon, and no matter how much it hurt he would keep on loving the demon, and he would keep on trusting him, right up until Sebastian ate his soul.

Sebastian moved gently within him, trying to not make it hurt anymore. Whenever his tears spilled over, Sebastian wiped them away. He adjusted to the feel of being stretched so much slowly, and with time everything began to stop hurting. He felt like he was drowning again. Sebastian's thrusts had increased in speed and power and now his body quivered and wept with pleasure. He shouted and screamed out the name he had bestowed upon the demon and his heart thudded painfully in his chest. He wanted this. He wanted this pleasure and he wanted to allow Sebastian to do this to him. He wanted to trust Sebastian and it was because he did trust him that he permitted this to happen. He had never before this moment let Sebastian do these types of things to him, and he wanted to scream that didn't Sebastian see? Didn't he see that the only reason Ciel gave consent for him to touch him like this and trusted him the way he did was because the boy loved him? Didn't he see any of that?

"Sebastian," Ciel choked out. "Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian." He wanted Sebastian to say his name again. The demon was panting and moaning with each of his thrusts, but he had not said any words. Hearing Sebastian speak his name had surprised him so much that first time. He liked the sound of it falling off the demon's lips. And didn't it mean something, that he had used it? Didn't it? Sebastian had never done so before. …Or, was this the same as the kisses, just another way to get him to do what he wanted?

Soon he was no longer capable of thinking his circling thoughts over and over. He screamed as Sebastian hit his prostate and the demon himself smirked. The slow pace they had established was pushed aside in favor of a faster, more frantic one. Any pain Ciel had still been experiencing was skillfully masked behind the pleasure he received as he felt Sebastian fill him even deeper than before.

Sebastian's hands grabbed roughly onto his hips and thrust deeper into his body, angling just so his prostate was hit over and over. Ciel's legs clenched around the man's sides and his hands scrabbled at his back, leaving angry red lines on the pale skin. His breath came short and shuddering and he tossed his head back with each thrust. Every time their bodies met his back arched off the ground. He had long ago given up trying to move his own hips in time with Sebastian's, and now jut let the older man do as he wished.

When his head tossed back once more Sebastian leaned over and latched his mouth to his neck. Ciel felt sharp teeth pierce his skin, but all that he experienced was pleasure, so great the tightening in his groin almost released itself. He shuddered and mewled softly as he felt Sebastian sucking on his neck and his tongue lapping up the spilled blood When he was satisfied with his mark, the demon smirked and messily connected his lips with Ciel's in a rough kiss. The boy could taste the almost spicy flavor of the other man, and the coppery one of his own blood. It was slightly disgusting, but he responded to the kiss all the same, tongue battling with the butler's own for dominance and control. He broke apart with a sharp gasp as a particularly strong thrust buried into him.

He was drowning, and he felt as if he couldn't breathe. Each breath he did manage to grab was expelled out again as moans and screamed. He wondered if he could die this way, then thought it wouldn't be so bad. At this point, no matter how things progressed, he would meet his end at Sebastian's hands.

He felt a hand encircle his neglected member and begin to pump it. Ciel cried out and held onto Sebastian even tighter. He was now no longer lying on the ground, but situated on the other man's lap. Their foreheads pressed together weakly. He could feel those bright eyes staring at him, but he kept his own face down, not wanting to look. They moved slower now, agonizingly slow compared to the rhythm they'd had before, an those hands on him stroked just as slolwly. His breath came out in shudders. He'd always liked going fast and hard, but with the way Sebastian was moving now, he felt like he couldn't control himself.

"Haaa… ah… Sebastian," Ciel panted. His member twitched and the pressure coiling within him grew tighter and tighter until it began to hurt. When it could curl no more it all let go, and with a strangled half-cry Ciel released all over their stomachs. He felt Sebastian push inside him a few more times, and then he too came with a shudder. His forehead rested against Ciel's and the boy clung to his demon tightly as his body trembled.

Sebastian slid out of him soon, but they continued to sit like that. The sound of their breathing filled the air, but that quieted to silence as time passed. Ciel was the one who broke it. He couldn't take it, sitting there with his butler, not knowing what was going to happen next.

"So… are you going to take my soul now?" He questioned, not really sure he wanted to hear the answer to that. He would love to stay here with Sebastian and hold onto him like this, but that was unrealistic, and he did not want to live in a fantasy. Surely now would be the moment when Sebastian took it. There would be no more delays.

"Is the Young Master truly that eager to end it all? Most would be begging me for their lives at this point," Sebastian chuckled softly. His arms wrapped tighter around Ciel's skinny waist, and he nuzzled into the boy's hair, breathing deeply.

"Shut up. I would never beg for anything. And I am not eager. I just do not see the point in waiting around any longer to finish this," He responded. His heart thumped painfully and his cheeks grew hot. He was glad Sebastian was not looking at him. It would have been easy to tell he was lying.

"No, you are far too proud to beg, even for your life, aren't you Young Master? That is why I am prepared to offer you this opportunity," The demon smirked as he moved away from his hair. Ciel looked up at him finally, confused as to what he was talking about. Sebastian smiled ambiguously, giving nothing away.

"Everyone will be sad to hear that you've passed on. Tell me, will you miss it?" He asked sweetly. Ciel's confused expression changed to a frown. His fists clenched against the demon's chest. He did not understand why Sebastian was still dragging this out. Did he mean to toy with him in this way? Would he continue to ask questions until the boy let his guard down and then viciously tear his soul from him? Even in his death he would suffer, it seemed. And what did this have to do with the previous statement Sebastian had said?

"Of course I'll miss it," Ciel scoffed, not allowing his inner turmoil to come out in his voice. "With my death the Phantomhive name will die. The Queen will no longer have her Watchdog. I suspect the company will also fall in time. The manor will fall to ruins with those servants around to take care of it. They've never gotten any better at their household tasks, though they improve daily as bodyguards. Elizabeth will marry into another family. That's probably the only good thing that will come of my demise. I could never be the husband she wanted and make her happy. Someone else may be able to succeed where I failed. She deserves to be with someone that loves her."

There was silence for a moment, and Ciel fidgeted in Sebastian's lap, beginning to feel awkward still sitting there. Both were still naked and covered in various fluids, and he longed to do something to make the silence easier to bear. Then Sebastian leaned forward a bit, until his lips were barely touching the rim of Ciel's ear. The boy shuddered as a hot puff of breath hit his neck, but otherwise did not move.

"Would you want to go back?"

He flinched slightly when those lips moved away. His eyes were wide, and when Sebastian pulled away from him he regarded him with a blank expression. He didn't understand.

"What are you talking about?" He demanded.

"After everything that's happened, do you still doubt my skills, Young Master? I could easily bring you back to the realm of the living," Sebastian smirked. Before Ciel had even thought about it, he'd smacked the demon across the face. His fists shook, and he glared sharply at the man.

"Stop this idiocy at once! I'm dead! Even if such a thing _were_ possible, why would you bring me back to life? What is there for you to gain from it? The contract is complete and there is no longer anything preventing you from eating my soul. You're starving, right? Why not just east it now then and stop fooling around," He scowled darkly.

"The Young Master is correct," Sebastian chuckled darkly. "I am very hungry. But you are one of the most interesting masters I have ever served. You constantly exceed my expectations and at times behave more like a demon than just a greedy human. Despite my hunger, I would not mind spending more time serving you."

Ciel lowered his head and allowed his eyes to be covered by his hair. He knew that he was acting weak in front of the man, but at the moment he did not care to hide it like he normally would. He felt tired, and his chest hurt. He knew it was stupid, but for a moment, when Sebastian had said he could bring him back, he'd thought that _maybe… _ Well, it was a stupid thought, wasn't it? He'd always known that Sebastian did not care about him. He was a demon. The only reason he'd served him in the first place was because he would get a meal out of it. It stood to reason that the only reason he would continue to serve him would be for his own amusement. He was truly stupid.

"That's your reason then?" He questioned casually.

"Were you expecting to hear something else?" Sebastian asked with a smile. Ciel shook his head.

"No, I suppose not," He answered. For Sebastian to say otherwise would be something of a miracle. Whoever had heard of a demon that fell in love with a human? Was it even possible for Sebastian to love him? Nothing he'd seen the demon do had ever suggested that he could.

"Maybe you expected to hear me say I loved you, hmm?" The demon said then. Ciel stiffened the moment he heard the silky voice in his ear.

"In the same way you love me, right?"

He harshly snapped back to reality and immediately tried to pull away from Sebastian's hold on him. He ripped the older man's arms away and struggled to leave his lap, but the demon held on tightly, making his efforts end all in vain.

"Let—go!" He yelled. He slapped Sebastian twice, but the action did not help any. His struggles ended when Sebastian grabbed his arms and held them at his sides with one hand. With the other he forced Ciel to look into his eyes. Even with Sebastian directing his gaze, the boy struggled to keep his eyes away from the demon's. His heart was beating furiously and he felt like a cold sweat had broken out all over the skin of his body. He had figured out. He had found out Ciel's secret, even though he had tried so hard to keep it from the butler.

"You do love me, don't you?" Sebastian was asking. Even with his sight averted, he could just hear the smirk in the man's tone.

"I-I…"

"It's all right for you to tell me that you do. Do you think you're the first human who has fallen in love with me? It's nothing to be ashamed of, Young Master," Sebastian purred. His fingers trailed down the side of the Ciel's cheek, making him shudder.

"Shut up. You don't know what you're saying. Why would I fall in love with you when I know you're only here for my soul? Do you really think I would do something so idiotic?" He scoffed. He could hear the waver in his voice. Even someone who had no idea who he was would have been able to tell he was lying. Without any doubt Sebastian would be able to as well. Still, he did not want to say it out loud. He didn't want to tell Sebastian that he was right and admit that he had been that unwise. He didn't want to hear the words coming from his mouth. He already knew that the love he held for the demon was doomed to fail and his life to end in unhappiness. He did not need that fact flaunted in his face by the very one he held such emotions for. Not now, when he was this close to his end. Not now. Maybe it was foolish, but he wanted to keep on pretending for jut a little while longer.

Sebastian opened his mouth to say more and he cut in quickly.

"Just eat my soul already! The contract is complete, and I want no part in furthering your entertainment at my expanse. So shut up and do it," He ordered. He didn't want to hear any more. This was it, he decided. He didn't want to be humiliated any more. He wanted this over. No more stalling.

Sebastian seemed to start and his smirk lost a bit of its intensity. The moment only lasted so long, and then it was just as bright and mocking as before.

"If that is what you want," He smiled brightly. He picked Ciel off his lap and then stood up himself. In a second the two were clean and clothed once more, and Ciel was situated on the stone bench. The boy didn't even bat an eyelash at the sudden change. His thoughts were too muddled and confused, and stranger things had happened. He gave a brief sigh; it looked like things would soon be ending. Soon he wouldn't be in such a mess. He wouldn't have to deal with such emotions and the trouble they caused. Soon he wouldn't exist.

"Well then, Young Master."

This was it. He was at the end.

"Will it hurt?"

"Yes, a little. I'll keep it as gentle as possible."

"Don't. Make it as painful as you can. Carve the pain of my life into my soul."

The last task he would have to complete was before him. The only thing still required of him in this life was to die. And maybe, it wouldn't be so bad. It would hurt, more than anything else, he was sure, but he wanted to feel that hurt. To feel everything that he'd done wrong and everything that he'd been through, and to feel that he was alive. It would hurt. But dying wasn't such a bad thing, was it? He would no longer exist. He would no longer feel.

Sebastian caressed his face lightly, then lowered his lips to Ciel's. Their last kiss.

"Earlier you said to me 'Why would I fall in love when I know you're only here for my soul?' I have a question for you, Young Master. Why would I fall in love when I know that you will only die?" The demon whispered against his lips softly.

Before Ciel could say anything in response, the greatest pain he had ever known ripped through him faster than any bullet. His hands tore into Sebastian's back and he screamed louder and with more intensity then he had ever screamed before. The pain he had endured during the month of captivity when he'd been young suddenly seemed so minuscule now, compared to what he was going through. He was dying, truly dying now, and he screamed and screamed and screamed.

One thought passed through his head. Only one was important enough to not be cast aside in favor of concentrating on the intense agony as his soul was violently severed from his body.

(_"Why would I fall in love why would I fall in love why would I fall in love?"_)

What Sebastian said… If he could have laughed, he would have. He wondered if he'd ever fooled Sebastian, or if the demon had always known of his feelings. There was no tricking a demon, was there? He'd probably known before Ciel himself even had. But Sebastian had underestimated him as well. Demon or not, after being in the man's company for fourteen years he had grown to recognize Sebastian's thoughts on certain things and the way he acted. It was simple enough to recognize the first and only lie the demon had ever uttered whilst in his servitude.

He'd been an utter fool the entire time. Falling in love with a creature of Hell and hoping that the feeling would one day be reciprocated. Sebastian never loved him, he knew that. But whether it was a result of the terrible pain ripping through him, he couldn't find it in himself to mind too terribly. After all, the butler had compromised his prized aesthetics. He'd told a lie. And maybe that meant something. Maybe.

Though the pain was just as terrible as ever, Ciel's screaming became weaker and weaker as his soul was removed more and more from the husk of his body. His hands loosened and fell lifelessly to his sides. Soon the only thing supporting his body and keeping it upright were Sebastian's arms against him. His eyelids struggled to remain open, but the strength it required to keep up the effort became too much, and they closed. He felt his life force slipping further and further away. Before he was too far-gone to control his body at all, he moved his lips into a smile.

00000

The empty body of his most recent master slumped to the stone bench once the support keeping it upright was gone. The demon once named Sebastian Michaelis sighed deeply and licked his lips, savoring the taste still remaining there. It was, without a doubt, the grandest meal he had ever consumed, but he could not enjoy the flavor properly. He'd never once in his long life cared about the bodies of his recently extinguished masters being near him while he fed, but with Ciel there it almost felt disrespectful. How queer.

He looked upon the body of the young boy fondly. Once he'd fixed the boy up, his young master almost appeared to be sleeping. With such a peaceful expression on his face and his hands folded neatly atop his chest, it was easy to forget that the boy was, in fact, dead. Without meaning to, the demon's hands found their way to the boy's hair, and began to stroke the blue-ish strands softly.

He remained by the body for a long time. He didn't want to leave. He'd been completely serious when he'd offered to bring the boy back to life. Ciel had been the most interesting and unique human being he could remember having served. He felt a little twinge in the spot where he supposed his heart would be if he had one. He would miss serving this young, bratty human child.

He thought back to the last thing he had said to the boy. Even now, he was still unsure why he had said it. He did not love Ciel. Without a doubt, he knew that to be the truth. He found the boy interesting, nothing more than that. He was not even sure if a demon like himself could love a human. So why had he said it? Was it because Ciel had loved him?

For years he had been able to sense the boy's strong emotions toward him, and they had always intrigued him. It had been entertaining to watch the boy suffer because of his unwanted affections. The demon had delighted in watching his master sink deeper and deeper into despair as he realized that his feelings would never be reciprocated. He had never before felt like easing his master's distress, so why do so now? Was it because even in death, the boy's irrational feelings had still been so strong? Other than the pain, the thing that had screamed to him the most powerfully through their quickly fading bond as he devoured the boy's soul was his love for the demon. Never before had one of his masters loved him so strongly. Ciel had been a truly fascinating human being. Maybe that was the reason he'd said it. The last service a butler could give to his master.

The demon once known as Sebastian Michaelis remained by the body of his previous master for a while longer. He felt no need to leave as quickly as he normally did. He knew that eventually he would have to return to Hell, but for the time being he felt perfectly content to stay by the boy's side for just a while longer. His hands continued to stroke the dead boy's hair and his eyes continued to look on, remembering each and every minute detail of the master that had fascinated him so.

* * *

Ta-da, that's it! This is officially the first multi-chap fanfic I can successfully say I've completed, haha. Anyways, had a bit of trouble with the ending to this one. I had originally wanted to make it a bit happier, with Sebastian actually meaning it when he said he loved Ciel, but when I started writing it, it just didn't seem to work out to me. I think I started making him a bit OOC, and that's no good, so I just made the ending a bit angstier because I apparently have no problems with writing that. I also normally write all of my stuff first, and then type it up on the computer, but when I started changing the ending around, I just typed it instead of writing it first, so that also was a bit harder to do. As a result, I think some of this sounds a bit... rough I guess, but that might just be me. (Fail ending is fail.) Also, I have stayed up way too late trying to get this thing out before heading off to bed. I am tired.

Anyways, big thank you to everyone who has reviewed! Glad you've all enjoyed this little fic so much! Tell me what you think about this last chapter, and thanks again for the reviews!


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